Meanest Mom on the Planet

I haven't had time to keep up with all of my blogs. The main blog for the Mean Mom is now here:

AskMeanMom

If you are looking for the story on the Meanest Mom on the Planet, who sold her son's car, you will find it at AskmeanMom!

Julie Clark, The Mean Mom

Where's Mean Mom??

I've had a couple of emails asking where I've been, why there hasn't been any new posts in a while. In between unpacking boxes from our move, putting in a huge veggie garden and landscaping, I've been working more on my other website, AskMeanMom. In fact, at some point, that will probably be my only parenting blog...or I'll just post to my blogs as I have time and something to share. The days are toooooo short!

Anyway, I update AskMeanMom just about every day with a new link, a Parenting Thought for the Day, an article, or something. Come take our Parenting Expert poll, too!

http://www.askmeanmom.com

Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they won’t be so shocked when the home is broken up later.

When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.

Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own.

Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let "him decide for himself".

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that his every sensual desire is gratified.

Avoid the use of "wrong". He may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

Let him read any printed material, and listen to any music he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, "I could never do anything with him."

Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

Prepare for a life of grief. You will likely have it.

* Taken from a pamphlet entitled Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children distributed by the Houston Police Department.

Children are not projects

Just read an article in USA Today about Beta Moms/Alpha Moms. Thought it was very good, and I loved this quote:

"Our children are people — not projects," says Syler, 44, of Westchester County, N.Y. "Motherhood is not a contest."

Exactly! When we lived in a suburb of Richmond, VA, some years ago, that's about what it seemed like when the moms were "soccer moms." Always trying to out-do the other moms, their kids had the latest and greatest fad, they were in numerous activities. And they would sigh over how busy they were and how worn out from running to piano to dance to karate to gymnastics to swim team. They weren't really complaining, it ws their way of bragging...look how much my kids is doing, look at what a good mommy I am.

I was fortunate enough to have other friends who were slacker moms, too, so my son had someone to play in the mud with in his backyard! Can he plink out a tune on the piano? No. Can he execute any ballet steps? No. But he has fond memories of his younger years (he's almost 16 now) of playing in the neighborhood with the other urchins of slacker moms. He didn't grow up in his carseat, staring at the back of my head as I drove him from place to place. He learned to entertain himself, and to create his own fun. That doesn't mean that I never took him anywhere. He swam at the local pool, but not a swim team. We went to parks, museums, botanical gardens. Sometimes his clothes matched. :)

I wonder if, years from now, the Alpha Moms will regret that they didn't slow down and enjoy life more, and let their kids just be kids?

Here's the USA Today article:
'Slacker Moms' urge other mothers to chill

Diets and friends...

I'm having a dinner in a couple of weeks. I heard back from a friend who told me that she'd "like to come, and hope to, but "I'm doing Atkins.""

That immediately told me she expects me to rearrange my dinner choices and become an expert in Atkins. I knew what she meant, but knew that I already had planned the menu. I told her "That's okay, you can bring him, too. But I thought he was dead" :)

Sometimes my mean mom-ness knows no bounds! A couple years ago, a friend said she was on South Beach. My response then was "No problem, we'll try again when you get back."

Being subtly "mean" in a humorous way helps. The friend on South Beach called back that night and apologized. She accepted the dinner invite and didn't starve at all!

As for the first friend, doing Atkins, she called back and asked what I had planned to cook and offered to bring something if the choices weren't suitable to her diet. Turns out, she wouldn't have gone hungry, either. But if she wants to bring something, that would be fine, too. I never turn away good food!

A new blog...

I began this blog as a "mean mom" blog and then it got sidetracked into the Alpha Mom discussion.

I've started a new blog for Alpha and non-Alpha mom stuff:

Not An Alpha Mom

I loved you enough...

From the late, great Erma Bombeck:

I Loved You Enough

Some day when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you take a Milky Way back to the drugstore (with a bite out of it) and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

~ Erma Bombeck